Thursday, April 14, 2011
Visiting this strange new island.
Being an infertile woman I always felt like I was on a different island than those without fertility problems.. maybe even another planet.
Its like the part in the movie Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.. the part where they visit the Island of Misfit Toys -
if you don't know what I'm talking about check this link --> Island of Misfit Toys
Right now I am just on a visit with one little toe on the island and the rest of me is still on the Island of Misfit Infertiles.
I am part of this "secret" sorority where there are pretty strict requirements for membership.
#1 You must have tried every single thing you could to try to get pregnant.
#2 You must be mentally drained and heart broken.
#3 You must be a jealous, bitter and infertile hag.
If you do not meet those requirements than you belong on the Island of Fertiles.
And never shall the two meet.. or atleast not entirely.
Once you've been on the Isle of Infertiles.. you will always call it home. Sure, you can visit the Island of Fertiles but you will never entirely fit in.
I found this quote recently here..
"The struggle of infertility can transform even the most psychologically sound woman into a fragile being that after time even she doesn’t recognize."
I couldn't have said it better!
Here's a scenario for those that have never been on the Isle of Infertile (pronounce it like this In-Fur-Tee-lay, makes it sound all beachy and tropical doesn't it?)
There are four women in a room...
#1 has a newborn baby, no other children
#2 has a newborn baby and 2 other children at home
#3 is pregnant and has one at home
The first 3 are all in their late teens/early 20's.
#4 is the elephant in the room at the age of 28 with no children.
1,2, are holding their babies and 1,2, & 3 are all talking about pregnancy stuff, parenting stuff and new baby chat.. and #4 is sitting there awkwardly with nothing to say. #4 can only wish that she were on the same planet as these other 3.
This is how my life is most of the time. My husband and I are one of the very few couples that we know that are our age or older and don't have children.
I've never been able to discuss diapering, feeding, poops & pees.. or anything of the sort without feeling like an outsider or an impostor.
Now with this pending adoption, I finally feel a little bit comfortable venturing over to the other island to discuss such things... still awkward but, I'm getting there.