Sunday, April 17, 2011

Fundraising for adoption

We are doing several fundraisers (or atleast hope to)
to cover the costs of the legal fees for our adoption.
If you haven't noticed already there is a ChipIn widget at the top of this page under the banner.
If anybody has any ideas for a fundraiser please let me know!

Leave me a comment or email me here

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Visiting this strange new island.

Being an infertile woman I always felt like I was on a different island than those without fertility problems.. maybe even another planet.

Its like the part in the movie Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.. the part where they visit the Island of Misfit Toys -
if you don't know what I'm talking about check this link --> Island of Misfit Toys

Right now I am just on a visit with one little toe on the island and the rest of me is still on the Island of Misfit Infertiles.

I am part of this "secret" sorority where there are pretty strict requirements for membership.

#1 You must have tried every single thing you could to try to get pregnant.
#2 You must be mentally drained and heart broken.
#3 You must be a jealous, bitter and infertile hag.

If you do not meet those requirements than you belong on the Island of Fertiles.
And never shall the two meet.. or atleast not entirely.
Once you've been on the Isle of Infertiles.. you will always call it home. Sure, you can visit the Island of Fertiles but you will never entirely fit in.

I found this quote recently here..
"The struggle of infertility can transform even the most psychologically sound woman into a fragile being that after time even she doesn’t recognize."
I couldn't have said it better!

Here's a scenario for those that have never been on the Isle of Infertile (pronounce it like this In-Fur-Tee-lay, makes it sound all beachy and tropical doesn't it?)

There are four women in a room...
#1 has a newborn baby, no other children
#2 has a newborn baby and 2 other children at home
#3 is pregnant and has one at home
The first 3 are all in their late teens/early 20's.
#4 is the elephant in the room at the age of 28 with no children.

1,2, are holding their babies and 1,2, & 3 are all talking about pregnancy stuff, parenting stuff and new baby chat.. and #4 is sitting there awkwardly with nothing to say. #4 can only wish that she were on the same planet as these other 3.

This is how my life is most of the time. My husband and I are one of the very few couples that we know that are our age or older and don't have children.

I've never been able to discuss diapering, feeding, poops & pees.. or anything of the sort without feeling like an outsider or an impostor.

Now with this pending adoption, I finally feel a little bit comfortable venturing over to the other island to discuss such things... still awkward but, I'm getting there.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Pissed at God

First off.. let me excuse myself right now and if you can't handle an occasional wordy dird than go ahead and hit the back button or whatever you gotta do because I'm gonna say whats on my mind tonight.

I am PISSED OFF at God right now..
Isn't the first time and I'm certain it will not be the last.
And don't worry about me going to hell for being pissed at God..
he's big enough to handle my anger and he knows I'll only be pissed for a little while.
God is the only person I've never held a grudge against.. atleast for long.

So - why am I so pissed?

There is a baby that entered the gates of heaven today at the age of 4 & 1/2 months old.
His parents also suffered from infertility and struggled for a long time to finally conceive him through the miracle of IVF.
So here's why I'm pissed, confused and just not understanding the sense in this.
God allowed them to finally conceive this precious baby only to take him away after 4 & 1/2 months of his life?

Job 1:21:

"And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

Here I am being selfish and self centered thinking of my own feelings towards this horrible event... If I feel this much heartache for the pain my friends are feeling in the loss of their baby.. their pain must be unmeasurable.

If you read this blog and are the praying kind.. please pray for peace for my friends and their family.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Pimpin' Princess Penny Pincher

So, I have another blog that I opened quite some time ago just never really got off the ground..
so here it is :)
Follow me... please?