Cruel dream/nightmare

I had a dream last night or maybe it was a nightmare?
It sure was nice while it lasted.. in my little dream world.

In the dream I was at my Mom's house with my Mom & sister.
For some reason I needed to take a medication and this medication would hurt or kill a fetus and I just couldn't take the Doctor's word that I wasn't pregnant so I decided to take an at home pregnancy test and right away I got two super bright dark pink lines! Gorgeous and how precious those two little lines were.
I remember showing Mom who said "what does that mean?" and my sister saying "Oh my God, Brandy is freakin' pregnant!".. and all 3 of us just bawling like babies.

Than I woke up and back in to reality.
Reality is that I more than likely will never get to experience that outside of a dream.

Sure, that might seem trivial to some people when I'll still get to be a parent to our adoptive child(ren).

Will adoption take away or dull that ache? I don't know.
But, I sure hope so. I don't want this to over shadow my joy of becoming a parent to this precious and most absolutely wanted child.
I've never wanted anything more in my life than to love, hold and nurture this precious child that is growing inside someone elses womb. And this child will be mine.

Conception Prayer

Conception Prayer
I thank you Father that Jesus has borne all my sickness and diseases
and carried all my pains away so by His stripes I am healed and made whole!
Therefore, in Jesus name ..... I bind Satan's power and hold over our wombs and our bodies.
I command ALL forms of sickness and disease to be removed.
I command infertility and the curse of barrenness to be removed in Jesus name!
I also profess according to the Word of God that ....
I have a blessed, prosperous, healthy and FRUITFUL womb!!
I command health into our bodies and I say "Body in Jesus name you are
to conceive and be pregnant!! Every part of you is to come in line with the Word of
GOD. You will function efficiently, the way you were created to be: fearfully and wonderfully made."
" I also pray for good solid attachment of my baby to the uterine wall,
and then for my baby to grow perfectly, be nourished, and protected for the full nine
months. I plead the blood of Jesus as a hedge of protection around the womb, protecting
my baby from all harm. I declare this in Jesus name as the Word says: ask
whatever you wish in Jesus name and it will be done!
I give you all the glory for my healing and for my baby.
Let it be done to me according to your Word!!
Amen!


I confess Jesus Christ as Lord of my life and I receive the power of
God that is the fullness of my Salvation

I thank you Lord that by Jesus stripes I have been healed!
Therefore, I bind Satan's power over my body and I resist sickness, disease and pain, in Jesus name!

You are to loose your hold on my body and life forever.

Jesus bore my sickness, disease and pain in my place so I can be set free.

I am redeemed from the curse of the law.

I am redeemed from miscarriage

I am redeemed from barrenness

Therefore I command my body in Jesus name to come in line with the Word of God and to behave healed.

You are to function the way God created you to: perfectly and efficiently because you are fear-fully and wonderfully made.

I proclaim my freedom and redemption today and I pronounce in Jesus name that I am made whole

Amen!