I had a dream last night or maybe it was a nightmare?
It sure was nice while it lasted.. in my little dream world.
In the dream I was at my Mom's house with my Mom & sister.
For some reason I needed to take a medication and this medication would hurt or kill a fetus and I just couldn't take the Doctor's word that I wasn't pregnant so I decided to take an at home pregnancy test and right away I got two super bright dark pink lines! Gorgeous and how precious those two little lines were.
I remember showing Mom who said "what does that mean?" and my sister saying "Oh my God, Brandy is freakin' pregnant!".. and all 3 of us just bawling like babies.
Than I woke up and back in to reality.
Reality is that I more than likely will never get to experience that outside of a dream.
Sure, that might seem trivial to some people when I'll still get to be a parent to our adoptive child(ren).
Will adoption take away or dull that ache? I don't know.
But, I sure hope so. I don't want this to over shadow my joy of becoming a parent to this precious and most absolutely wanted child.
I've never wanted anything more in my life than to love, hold and nurture this precious child that is growing inside someone elses womb. And this child will be mine.