Monday, August 13, 2007

Empty arms and PCOS

Have I ever told you how much PCOS sucks?
Here's a little view into my world...

To say the least... it sucks.
Whats even worse... most women who have this... don't know it until the symptoms show their ugly face. My first symptom was of course being over-weight but... most doctors/family and "friends" just thought that I was just lazy and ate alot... WRONG! Than later in life came the missing cycles... than I finally got some answers after reading a magazine article in my sisters teenager magazine. Funny how even doctors said all of this was "normal"
Yeah, its normal to have cysts choking your ovaries...and in pain constantly..yeah, its normal to be over-weight, yeah its normal to be diabetic, yeah its normal... uh-huh.
I am so angry at all the doctors/family and "friends" who just told me to lose weight... if it were that easy don'tcha think I would have already done that!?!?!?!

Before you pass judgment on the "fat girl" you may think first and remember what I've said here in this little blog... maybe she can't help it. Maybe she has some health issue like I have... did it ever cross your little self-centered pea-brain head that MAYBE not everybody is perfect?

Also, its nice that you may be pregnant or that you have 10 children but remember, that I don't have any and maybe never will. I dont want to hear "you are stressing too much and thats why you cant get pregnant"... I dont want to hear your advice on how to stand on your head and wiggle your ears to get pregnant... been there done that!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Dear Arabella & Elias...

Dear Arabella and/or Elias,
I dream of you, I pray for you. One day, I will hold you in my arms. One day, when God says its the right time... you will come down from the heavens and you will be my daughter or son. Your Daddy & I can not wait to see you... we already love you... we know you are in heaven waiting for the right time. Sometimes...when I'm day dreaming about you... I can almost see what you will look like... You will have your Daddy's bright and beautiful hazel eyes that change colors like a sunset, you will have dimples because both Daddy & I .. have dimples... you will have thick black hair like mine... maybe it will have a little curl like your Aunt Marcia & Uncle Derek and not straight as a board like mine. You will have your Daddy's sharp and expressive eyebrows. You will have my smile... You will have tiny hands like mine with the crooked pinkies just like me, your Aunt Marcia, your Aunt Theresa, your Grandma Paula & your Great-Grandma Ramona... thats a family legacy. You will have tan skin... but, not quite as dark as mine.... And my dear baby... you will be loved beyond this universe... by your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends... we are all waiting for you.

Love with all my heart,