Monday, February 16, 2009

Three Years

Three years of heartache and disapointment...
There are days when I want to shake my fists at the Lord and scream "WHY!?!"
Why should my arms continue to be empty when there are so many children in the world that are being born to women who don't want them!? (or, who can't take care of them)
I know we are not supposed to question God's will...
but, I am angry, hurt and so weary.
I dont know what I'm doing wrong and I've been trying to figure out what it is that God wants us to do...
Everybody and their brother is praying for us... and thank you to those of you that are... that means the world to us.
I know in my heart that God would not have brought us to this trial if he weren't going to bring us through it.
I'm so tired of being reminded every day that I'm not a Mother.. I am nobody's Mother...will I ever be?
I'm trying to gather encouragement from anywhere and everywhere at this point.. just to keep going.
I know that God is with me and he feels the pain in my heart and I know he has a plan for all of us...
But, why do I feel so alone? Why do I feel like God hears and sees my pain yet he doesnt give me answers or lead me down the right path?


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